physically, i have been many places in and outside of Japan.
I have been to U.S., East Asia, and South America.
I have learned languages, cultures, and gained some insights of what it is like to live in today's global society.
But, where am I right now?
I know I am in Japan, working, and studying etc.
Yet, if I ask myself, "Where am I and where am I going, in my own life??"
The answer remains unclear. It used to be, at least.
I know this sounds so naive. But it still is still a great exercise whenever I get confused on my life direction. And now, I am confused, tired, and lost for my life. I feel nothing certain.
It is my great talent that I go ask people what to do and why it is such blah blah blah.
I can be shameless sometimes. My appetite and eagerness to learn usually overwhelm my common sense. If it is free, go and take it. It is worse wondering alone waiting for the brightest answer to someday come up in my head. I am not that patient. Yet, it is not from randomness that I get people caught on the spot where he/she needs to be smarter and knowledgeable than me, therefore to convince me, so that I can get on the right track. And it is not of course because of him/her if the circumstances are not pleasant. I know it is easier to blame somebody.
I need to change myself.
It is my great talent that I go ask people what to do and why it is such blah blah blah.
I can be shameless sometimes. My appetite and eagerness to learn usually overwhelm my common sense. If it is free, go and take it. It is worse wondering alone waiting for the brightest answer to someday come up in my head. I am not that patient. Yet, it is not from randomness that I get people caught on the spot where he/she needs to be smarter and knowledgeable than me, therefore to convince me, so that I can get on the right track. And it is not of course because of him/her if the circumstances are not pleasant. I know it is easier to blame somebody.
I need to change myself.
In the bottom line, no one knows about future. No one knows about my life and what it will be.
So why am I asking the questions to someone, expecting a beautiful, functional and invincible answer?
It is my choice and responsibility to make my life worthwhile. That is what I should focus on.
I used to think,
"Everything around me should something to do with me and I somehow feel that I owe something to their existence being around with me".
Well, that is half right and half wrong, just chicken or egg.
I cannot resolve all the problems in the world at once, neither can I resolve all the problems is there in this world.
Now I start to think.
"Everything happens to me is due to my priority.
And everything that doesn't happen to me is due to my time management".
How simple this is.
Thus,
I shall choose where my foot prints will be placed.
Hang in a place where I can be satisfied with.
Because at the end of the day, it all comes back to me.
I see the vague picture of my future. I need more work to do.
I know I wanna get there. But I know I can't get there soon.
Careful with each step.
May I commence the wild road.